Before having babies, my dress size was in single figures and I could get away without wearing a bra if I really wanted to (although, as I recall, I didn't take that opportunity up while I still had the chance). Now? Well, there is this moment in the film Big Hero 6 when Baymax deflates a bit and has this saggy sort of appearance that wobbles when he walks:
That, folks, is my postnatal body. Having stretched my abdomen out to beyond a reasonable limit five times now, my stretch marks look like a map of the London Underground and the excess skin that I have from carrying a 9lb13oz baby is never going to snap back.
Some people are all warm and fuzzy about their postnatal bodies, calling their stretchmarks the 'badge of honour of motherhood'. I call it irritating.
So, I was wondering, just how bad is it to want to change my postnatal body?
Where I used to work, we would regularly have visiting plastic surgeons come to perform the most complex facial surgery. One of them mainly performed breast reconstruction following mastectomy for breast cancer when he wasn't helping us out. One day I was chatting with him and joked that I would quite like a 'mummy lift' when I stopped having children. Apparently it is A Thing. A list celebrities genuinely do pay for a postnatal tummy tuck and the redundant tissue is then used to perk up postnatal breasts. Part of me is quite tempted... The rest of me feels guilty for being tempted. I'm fairly certain that plastic surgery for purely cosmetic (ie vanity) reasons is frowned upon within Christian circles. I could argue that I'm just wanting to restore my body to how God had made it. But that seems a bit ridiculous when God made my body capable of bearing children. I'm not convinced that God would consider stretchmarks or a bit of postnatal sag to be a design flaw.
I know the Bible tells me that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made" and I can marvel at my body for a while when I consider how my skin protects me from infection or my body uses multiple organs to turn food into energy. But after that moment of wonder, I'm not entirely awestruck by my body. Let's face it, a few seconds scanning the TV or a magazine and the bodies that can be seen there leave me feeling a little less impressed with my own body.
Maybe God would like to reconsider his plan for my body just a little? You know the odd things that could do with a bit of a tweak so that I'd be feeling a bit more "fearfully and wonderfully made"? A slightly more flashy exterior as a house for the Holy Spirit could be quite uplifting in more ways than one.
Whilst we were having tea tonight, The Oldest Girl told me that I'm just like Baymax. The Curate knew that I had already started writing this blog and referenced Baymax's appearance so he immediately tried to shush her. She was somewhat taken aback and then she started to quote some of the things that Baymax says that remind her of mummy:
Maybe that's more what is meant by being "fearfully and wonderfully made"? Not just the exterior stuff but everything that can really make a difference. The Oldest Girl doesn't care if my body isn't taut anymore but she does care about how I love her.
Or maybe that's still missing the point a bit? I have this huge debate about what I should do in terms of anything to do with my appearance. As a Christian, should I spend money on having my haircut when I could give that money away to feed a starving family? What about spending money on makeup? Or clothes that look nice but are more expensive than ones that could keep me just as warm? At what point do we decide that it is or isn't OK to do something about our appearance? Because it seems to me that how we look isn't a factor in the grand scheme of eternal life.
And that is the real point of that verse about being fearfully and wonderfully made. It has nothing to do with appearance. The emphasis isn't even on us as human beings at all if you read the whole verse:
The emphasis is on praising God. Being fearfully and wonderfully made isn't about me and my body. It's about God's work being wonderful. It's about the awesomeness of God, not me. Think about it like this: I have a few friends who are brilliant artists. I do not go around showing off their work with giving them credit.
Maybe if I stop thinking so much about myself when I look at my body and think more about my creator then I will feel a bit more "fearfully and wonderfully made"? And whatever way you look at it, my body may not look totally awesome anymore but it did grow five babies and that in itself is pretty awesome.
No comments:
Post a Comment