Time for everything

"It's time" I said as I nudged The Curate (in his pre-curate days) and tried to wake him up.  He rolled over.  I nudged him a little harder.  "No, really, it's time to go to the hospital.  You have to wake up the baby's coming!"



As a mother of five, I'm a bit obsessed with time.  I do not like to be late for anything and that can be quite difficult when coordinating leaving the house.  Someone always has a last minute need for something vital like a trip to the loo, a hat or dolly who may currently be naked but must be in a nappy, a baby grow and swaddled in the correct blanket unless I wish to hear screaming and sobbing throughout the entire school run.

I never have enough hours in the day.  I'm often asked how I fit everything in or how do I find the time to do x, y and z.  Well, as this blog is testament to, sometimes I let the non-essential things take a backseat for a while.  Sometimes I focus on the time dependent stuff first (like getting out the house on time for school) and leave other important stuff as a second priority (like getting the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher).  Sometimes I stay up late writing essays whilst the house is peaceful.  When I get to the stage that the baby sleeps through (we're not there yet with number five) I try and get up before the children do to get everything set for the day and to get my head organised.  But no matter how organised I am, time always seems to spiral out of control.



Time is a funny thing.  We never seem to have enough of it and yet we can be masters of wasting time.  And then one day, it's gone.  And yet it carries on for everyone else.  I've finally finished watching the final episode of Call The Midwife and was particularly struck by the funeral scene.  I found myself pondering 'how do I want people to remember me when my time is up?' And even more specifically 'how do I want our children to remember me?' I guess a lot of that depends on how I use my time.



I get a little fed up of seeing loads of memes and other parenting advice on how to use my time as a parent.  You may have come across the poems 'Dust if you must' and 'Slow down mummy'.  They really annoy me.  Don't get me wrong, I'm all for playing with our children and can totally see the value of a bit of puddle splashing or mess making.  But, I also like healthy children and that involves a fair amount of cleaning.  What is important to me is that all of the children will remember that mummy was there when they needed me.  Mummy listened.  Mummy spent time with me.  Mummy cared.  Mummy loved me.  But, how do I achieve that with a limited amount of time?



It's all about choices.  This Lent I have chosen to not waste so much time on certain things so that I can concentrate more on God.  I think that I'm also concentrating far more on other important things too, especially important people.  I'm not convinced that Lent is a long enough season for me to fully work that one out but I am managing to deal with the temptation to waste time on the internet far better (who knew that having a phone that can do pretty much anything for you could ruin your life?!).  I'm still not a Pinterest mum.

The other day, a friend of mine made me laugh so much when she said that she would love to sit playing with her children all day (with their handmade wooden toys and organic edible paints made from vegetables grown on the allotment) but she doesn't have time because she has other stuff that needs doing as well.  I loved her just a little bit more for summing up my mummy guilt in such a tongue-in-cheek way.  I want to do loads of stuff that I aspire to as a mum or a wife but instead I end up feeling guilty when I'm not sat reading books with my children all day (because there's no app to replace your lap) and I do other stuff instead.

I've discovered that they way to deal with this mummy guilt is to try and find some balance.



Time also gives us lots of opportunities.  If we are gifted with today then we can choose how we use it.  Sit looking at FaceBook catching up with friends? Maybe that can wait until the children are in bed.  Pretend to be 'The Hood' from Thunderbirds for a few minutes instead of walking past my son's bedroom door and hurrying on with laundry? Sure! Clean behind the toilet whilst The Toddler asks what I'm doing? Well, yes, because it needs to be done and The Toddler doesn't like being ill.  Sit down with a cup of tea for a few minutes and just let myself be? Definitely! Everyone needs to recharge their batteries.

There are a few things that I specifically do as a Christian in terms of time management that I believe helps me.  The first is to prioritise spending some time with God each day reading my Bible and praying.  Why? Because it changes me.  It refocuses me on God and how He sees the world rather than my stressed-out-mum point of view.  Also, He gave me time so I spend some time thanking God for, well, pretty much anything.  The Bible teaches us to 'seek first his kingdom and his righteousness' so I try to have this time with God early in the day.  It doesn't always work out like that though.  The Bible also speaks about being wise in how we spend our time and making the most of every opportunity so I try to do that.  The other major thing that I do is to pray specifically about things as they crop up during the day and ask for guidance/wisdom on what to do.  No-one likes wasting their time and if I can do things God's way it seems to me that I haven't wasted my time. So if I have a little voice in my head telling me that now is my opportunity to play dollies and have a moment with The Toddler then I take that opportunity.  If I feel that God is prompting me to let the children play happily whilst I clear up the breakfast bowls then I'm grateful for that moment.

I do still stress about time.  Quite a lot actually.  Maybe it goes with the territory of having five children? It's at this point that I remember one of my favourite Bible verses:



I'm going to have to ask you to be patient with me over the next few weeks.  I have another essay to write (this is a short term so deadlines are close together) and I would like to stay vaguely sane.  My blog writing may continue to be sporadic.  I only have so many hours in the day and whilst I love writing, I also love sleep.

And on that note, it's time for bed...