'Fasting' from FaceBook during Lent was... Interesting. If you want to know why I tried to stop using FaceBook during Lent then you can read my previous post here.
So, how did it go? Was it worth it? Did I learn anything? Did anything in my life change? Well, it was a mixture of nightmare and freedom all rolled in to one. I think that I've learnt five main lessons from my 'FaceBook fast':
- Fasting from FaceBook is hard. Really hard.
There's something addictive about FaceBook. I think that I can have a quick peek to keep up with the news of my loved ones. The reality is that it takes about an hour a day to catch up with my Newsfeed (yes, I have timed it). Also, more shamefully, my motivation for reading lots of the status updates is probably more akin to gossip than genuine concern. I thought it would be relatively easy to switch off from FaceBook but it left a void that was hard to resist the temptation of filling. I thought that if I could use FaceBook less than I had cracked the issue. What actually happened was that a quick peek to 'keep up' wasn't enough and I found myself spending more time having a quick peek than I had imagined. I'm not convinced that it is the ability to be 'connected' with other people that is the addictive quality of FaceBook. Even as someone who struggles when I don't spend enough time with other people, FaceBook is no substitute for face-to-face time. I'm not entirely sure what it is that makes FaceBook addictive but I do know that the more time I spend on FaceBook, the more often I check it.
- FaceBook is more about ego than I care to admit.
I don't worry about how many 'likes' my posts get. But I have realised that I do like to talk about me and my life quite a lot! I don't think that FaceBook is an easy place to remain humble. It is a snapshot of life that we choose to present. It's not very often that I see a post that admits to fault, failure or even normality. We use FaceBook as our own personal platform to declare our priorities to the world. Even when we just post cute baby photos, they are the cute ones, not the outtakes. Why? Because we care what people think about us. Why is that a problem? Because egos are fragile. They get hurt. Life isn't about me and I'm not sure that my FaceBook statuses ever reflect that.
- FaceBook over-use is not a symptom of an unhappy life.
It is, however, a cause of an unhappy life. For me it is, anyway. Let me explain. I thought that I used FaceBook as a means of escapism from the Ground Hog Day nature of my life as a stay-at-home mum. It turns out that I was wrong. My life isn't boring and I don't feel like escaping from it when I actually engage with it and am present in my life. I can cope with my life when I face it. It's not something that I need or want to run away from. Spending copious amounts of time on FaceBook, even in regular small amounts, transports me from the here and now to an electronic connection with other people's egos. Even sending a personal text is more rewarding than putting a public announcement on FaceBook.
- 40 days was not long enough.
It turns out that I'm not Jesus. Who knew?! Whilst 40 days in the wilderness was long enough to prepare Jesus for his public ministry and for Jesus to crack resisting temptation, it hasn't been long enough for me. I'm still working through some of the stuff that Lent has thrown up. I'm not sure when or if I will return to FaceBook in the way that I was using it before. At the moment I'm trying to make sure that God has the loudest voice in my life and that I spend more time listening to him than anything else. That has to include FaceBook.
- There's nothing wrong with using FaceBook.
The problem is not using FaceBook per se. The problem is when FaceBook uses you. I know many people who don't struggle with using FaceBook and they don't have any issues with the way in which it connects them to the world. Maybe they restrict their friends list to genuine friends rather than acquaintances? Maybe they have more time on their hands? Maybe they post about different things? Maybe they still manage to keep up with real life one-to-one connections and maintaining the public platform that is FaceBook? I don't know.
For the moment, I'm not officially off FaceBook but I'm not exactly on it either. I'm still working out how to use FaceBook without it using me. I'm not convinced that there is a set formula to follow. What I do know is that life is much better when I engage with it. I'm off to post some snail-mail...
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