Busy, busy, busy

Busy has become a swear word in Christian and secular culture recently.  That makes me want to scream!

I am busy.

I'm OK with that.

Let me explain...

Our life is full.  You probably don't want to imagine what life is like with five children and a Rev for a husband.  Today should have been the Curate's day off.  He only gets one day off each week.  He worked.  It doesn't happen all the time but it does happen.  He had a funeral today and he has an essay due in imminently.  I also have an essay due in very soon.

Lent is supposed to be a time of making space, taking stock and prioritising just being in the presence of God.  I have started to read a book today that I think turns this idea on it's head.  Instead of only seeking God in the quiet, there is an encouragement to seek God in the busy and the doing as well.

The Curate and I have had to work out that we have a limit to the amount of stuff that we can do.  We can be negative-busy, or positive-busy.  By that I mean we can be overwhelmed and ineffective or we can make some decisions, prioritise, drop a few things and do the rest well.  Both options involve being busy, but one is healthy.  We have also learnt that scheduling in rest is a good idea.  I know that I get lazy if I don't work out time to rest and purposefully use that time to relax.  Maybe that sounds odd but I find that I don't want to get up and do the things that I need to do if I don't work in sufficient rest because I get tired and ineffective.

The other thing that really annoys me about busy being a negative status is the idea that busy people are seen as unapproachable.  I don't find that people have a problem with asking me or the Curate for help or counsel.  Maybe it's because they know that we will drop everything if they are having a crisis or we will schedule in a time to meet with them uninterrupted by small people if they can wait.  I can't help but wonder if being approachable doesn't have anything to do with how busy you are.

There are two things that people say to me all the time.  The first is "are they all yours?" and the second is "I don't know how you do it".  I have a range of stock answers for the first question depending on my mood.  As for the second statement, let me say something to you with all the love that I possibly can show on a blog - "stop judging me by your standards".  I promise you that I mean this with love, not judgement.  The thing is, you look at my life through the lens of your life.  You already have a load of stuff to deal with.  When you look at my life, you don't put that stuff down.  If I looked at my life from your point of view, I wouldn't know how I do it either.  But my life is not your life.  I don't have your stuff to deal with, only mine.  So, please, stop judging yourself when you look at me and stop judging me by your standards.  And for my sake, please will people stop projecting their ideas of busy on to my life?!


And just in case this post hasn't made you laugh, here's a few things that I have learnt over the past 24 hours:

Kneeling on a duplo brick whilst crawling across the floor REALLY hurts.  It is as bad as treading on proper lego.  And apparently our big boy has no compassion - "you should have looked where you were crawling, mummy!".  I'm hoping that I don't sound like that when he gets hurt.

Taking medication to help you sleep and stop you coughing is great... until the baby wakes up in the middle of the night and has a poo! Seriously.  In the middle of the night is not normal and doing so on a night when mummy is drugged up is just rude.

I must be starting to get a little better.  I know this because I shaved my legs in the shower for the first time in too long.  You clearly needed to know that.  Well, I did promise that I would keep it real.