Do you like you?

I came across this beautiful song and I'm not sure that I can write a blog to do it justice (but I'll have a go!).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXoZLPSw8U8

The song is called 'Try' by Colbie Caillat.  You can see why it won an MTV award for best video with a social message.

Apparently Colbie Caillat was so fed up of being photoshopped that she wrote this song.  I can't even begin to imagine the immense pressure that she is under to look a certain way in order to gain acceptance.

Throughout the video, the women featured remove their makeup to reveal their natural beauty.  This struck a chord with me.  I rarely wear makeup these days.  I don't have the time to faff about with it so it is only on special occasions that the makeup comes out.  I can remember reading in a magazine years ago that women who wear a modest amount of makeup to a job interview are more likely  to get the job than someone who is wearing no makeup at all or someone who has it plastered on.  I think it's pretty sad not only that this is presumably true, but that a magazine would advise women that they need to wear the right amount of makeup to get a dream job.  There are no words that could express how I feel about that.

And yet when it came to our eldest girl going to her 'junior disco' the other evening, I helped her to apply a little makeup for the first time ever.  The curate was horrified.  I can see his point of view.  She is only 8 (although far more mature both in looks and wisdom) and that is young for makeup.  So, why did I do it? First of all, it was her choice.  Secondly I don't want makeup to become a 'thing'.  If it is forbidden then it will most certainly become a 'thing'.  I also want her to learn that even just a little make up can be fun.  I want her to feel confident enough about her body that she can choose whether she adds some makeup for a special night out, or not.  I also don't want her to label a woman as 'tarty' or anything else derogatory because of the amount of makeup that she wears.  Above all, I want our daughters all to learn that wearing makeup or not is a choice that only they can make for themselves.  We already teach them about having a beautiful heart and try to make sure that they feel loved as they are.

Going back to the song, there is a lyric that says "when you're all alone, by yourself, do you like you?".  Wow.  There in that one sentence was a question that we should all be asking ourselves.  Just think about it for a minute.  It's not asking 'do you accept you?' or 'do you want to be you?'  When you are not thinking about how other people see you and look at yourself honestly, do you like you?

I was reminded of a book by a lady called Arianna Walker called Mirror Image.  In the book she tells the story of a 17 year old woman who was suffering with an eating disorder.  Whenever this woman looked in the mirror, she hated what she saw.  Her description of herself was "I look in the mirror and see a fat, ugly girl who is worthless and deserves to die".  Her pain is immense.  Not only does she not like how she looks but she feels worthless and not that she wants to die but actually deserves to die.  Arianna Walker goes on to explain that in that moment she heard God whispering to her through the Holy Spirit "Tell her that she is looking in the wrong mirror".

I wonder how many of us are looking in the wrong mirror? How many of us look in the mirror and don't like the person looking back?

My story isn't so dissimilar to that young woman who saw a 'worthless' reflection.  It wasn't until I was 19 and heard someone tell me all about how Jesus loved me as I was, not as I could be that I started to learn to like myself.  I am a perfectionist by nature and that isn't healthy.  The bar is always set too high no matter what is being measured.  Learning that God loved me and accepted me in my imperfect state meant that I started to like me.  I stopped sabotaging my own life when I learnt what it meant to be loved unconditionally by Jesus.  I was heading down a very different path and I don't like to think how my life would be now if someone hadn't explained God's love to me.  Before that I thought that I couldn't go to God until I was acceptable or holy in some way.  If God only loved 100%  holy people then heaven would be a very lonely place.

Going back to that song... When you're all alone, by yourself, do you like you? Because God loves you xxx